so. bob and i, whatever we had before, are apparently over. i'm going to let go officially i guess, because he wants me to. and, hey. i like jeff too. i mean, i love bob, and i always will. but this is the 3rd time he's done this to me. and... i can't take this. i have never contemplated my suicide so seriously before as i am now. and if i have, its been a LOOONG damn time since i have. check out our nice little chat.

 

 StOckHoLmPoEt [10:10 PM]:  why couldn't you have just told me all that yourself.
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:11 PM]:  i mean, you didn't tell me that you were leaving again in august, so... how am i supposed to know that you didn't want any kind of a relationship now. you could have just told me.
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:14 PM]:  alright. well. whenever you're actually READY to tell me why you couldn't tell me yourself all of this stuff, please just let me know b/c until then i'll be sitting here wondering.
Sha  bu  tie22 [10:14 PM]:  just let it go. seriously.
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:14 PM]:  let what go
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:14 PM]:  let me & you go, or let whatever's bothering you go
Sha  bu  tie22 [10:15 PM]:  I don't know
Sha  bu  tie22 [10:15 PM]:  all of it
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:16 PM]:  so you can sit there and say you love me and that you're gonna take care of me and that one day we're gonna be together again and i'll NEVER LOSE IT after that. and then tell me to just let go.
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:17 PM]:  you're the one that went nuts when i told tyler that i'm trying to move on b/c it hurts too much to hold onto you when you were gonna be going back to chicago like 2 days after that. and then you stay, so i'm thinking, hey awesome maybe i can FINALLY be with you again. and now you want me to let it go.
Sha  bu  tie22 [10:17 PM]:  yeh well id on't know what I was thinking
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:18 PM]:  this is the 3rd time you've done this to me, you realize that right? the 3rd time that you've said you love me and all this BULLSHIT, which is OBVIOUSLY all it has been, and then take it away just as quickly as you said it.
Sha  bu  tie22 [10:19 PM]:  3rd times a charge I guess
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:20 PM]:  you told me you love me like 20 minutes ago.
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:20 PM]:  or did you just say that just to shut me the fuck up.

Sha  bu  tie22 [10:21 PM]:  yeh
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:22 PM]:  do you LIKE to practically KILL ME?
Sha  bu  tie22 [10:22 PM]:  just drop it
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:24 PM]:  no b/c i'm not the kind of person to drop things, unlike you. i actually have feelings, UNFORTUNATELY for me, apparently. i don't understand how you can sit there and say all that sweet shit that makes me feel like EVERYTHING is going to be okay again and that i'm going to get better again and then TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME. you are nothing like what i thought you were and you are VERY QUICKLY turning into EVERY SINGLE OTHER GOD DAMN BOYFRIEND THAT I'VE HAD, LYING TO ME AND PLAYING ME LIKE THIS.
StOckHoLmPoEt [10:25 PM]:  telling me you love me, to get me to shut up. telling me all this shit, for no reason. i will never understand.

::holds:: im sorry chick. i wish i could take a away some of the pain. but know im always a shoulder to cry on. i love ya gurl...ur my nazi jew...remember?

love bria

Wow, he is such a prick... You deserve someone a million times better (as cliche' as that sounds) - someone who will appreciate the love you give forth to them, and who is willing to reciprocate it. He has no idea what he's giving up. *hugs* Hope things work out for the best, and that your new interest IS "someone a million times better."

Thank you much, both of you, for helping out. Your words mean a lot to me Hopefully one day I'll be able to do for the two of you and the many others that have been helping me out what you all have done for me.

Love Always,
Sami.

~*Sami & Bria 4ever*~