"I seem to recall us knocking on YOUR door."
"Oh yes. And I seem to recall.. breaking your face."
--Detective Mills(Brad Pitt) and John Doe(Kevin Spacey), from Seven.

I love that movie with such a burning passion. The ending is quite possibly the best part though, the last lines delivered by Morgan Freeman. He says, "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part." And there ends the movie.

Today has been a good day, I suppose. I haven't slept in 2 or 3 days, but hey, I catch up on my sleep during Spanish anyway.  I'm getting over the whole Bob thing pretty well I guess... not dwelling on it all day and night is helping out. He imed me last night, to tell me he got a job. I'm happy for him, it's good for him that he did. I'd love to remain friends with him and on speaking terms, but I'm afraid I'll hang onto my love for him too much if I do. The more I talk to him, the more I fall back in love with him, but the less I talk to him, the more I MISS our "love," if that's what you want to call it, b/c I'm not so sure that he would call it that anymore with what he told me the other day. *sigh* I don't know anymore. I like Jeff, and things are going well with us so far. I'm fairly sure we're on the right track for a relationship. I'm not trying to use Jeff as a way to get over Bob, I'm really not, I do like Jeff. Audra told me tonight that he and I look very cute together. I love his personality.. he's very funny, and often very sullen and somber, but not in a depressed way *although I do believe he is rather depressed*, in just a sort of quiet way. He's one of those people that doesn't talk very much, but when he does, he'll either say something extremely interesting, or extremely funny. And he's so adorable, and he thinks he's so completely ugly and so.. well, lacking personality, I think. But he's not. He has a great personality. Yes, he can be somewhat of a.. well.. typical guy at times, but not so much anymore really. At least not that I've noticed, possibly because he's always super-sweet to me nowdays. I don't deserve most of the sweetness he radiates out at me, but I can't complain, it's nice to have someone be sweet to me and it not be fake. I mean, no one else has really done that except for Maggie *of course, she's sweet to everyone* and Justine really. And Briana of course, but that's a rather new sweetness as well, like Jeff's.

I appreciate Justine's sweetness more than anyone else's though. Maggie's is an understood appreciation, because she doesn't have a mean bone in her body, without a doubt. She wouldn't know how to be anything other than sweet if she wanted to. But Justine doesn't have to be sweet, she could be as cruel as she wanted to be. But she's not. She appreciates me, my writing, my so-called "beauty," that she thinks radiates out of me, apparently. *sigh* I glow like a little girl every time she gives me a compliment on anything relating to myself. And when she gave me that painting she did of me... I just about died right there. It honestly brought tears to my eyes because I couldn't believe she'd taken the time to portray me on a canvas. And the blood stains on the walls attracted me greatly for some reason... and she even took the time to paint me holding a cigarette! Such perfection.

I'm so tired. My sleep-deprivation hit me all at once tonight at Victoria's and at IHOP. Oh well, you get used to it, what with all the medicine-switches and chemical-initiated nightmares and such.

I think I'll go now. I'm getting tired of writing.